Your last day in your country

Loneliness is not as bad as it is painted, of course, it can sometimes be a little sad, distressing and painful, but what does it matter when the world is so unjust and cruel to a poor soul in pain like Napoleon's? 

Perhaps it was witchcraft, someone who had sworn vengeance on him and would not rest until he was beside them among the dead. But that theory was just plain stupid, being exiled from his own country was enough of a punishment.

"Karma" thought the strategist. 

This was punishment for all the atrocities he had committed. His children, his brothers, his friends, his enemies? They had all suffered for him and now he was paying for it. The wounds he had left on them had become scars that decorated Napoleon's cold skin and his every tear was now a hard arrow going through his heart.

"Repentance" echoed in his head.

Yes, that was the way to the purification of his soul and the only way he could be happy again, that was why the genocidal man was now praying. He knew there was no God, all the emperors and kings knew it, it was just another deception to control the population, but he desperately needed that someone from beyond to listen to his lament and extinguish the pain that flooded his heart. He needed to believe miracles happen and perhaps someday he could come back to his beloved France.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned" he said "Forgive me, Lord, for being human," each one of those words would outrage even the most disgraced, "For my daily imperfection, for my great ego, for the pride of my heart," but they made Napoleon feel liberated.

"I ask your forgiveness, and also life's, for so many mistakes, so much pain caused." Since he had started begging for forgiveness he was happier, his face was always adorned with a smile. Familiar "Convince that I am more, that I am great, that I am worth gold" and they were happy about this change, but it began to worry them.

"And how sad to realise today, that I'm nothing more than an unpresentable son of yours" you can use something to make you happy, but you can't let your happiness depend on it "I suppose you're ashamed and ashamed of me" wanting to be forgiven is a good thing, but... What justifies that need when you have already been forgiven? 

"I ask forgiveness from love and all those people who thought they were going to get it from me, love is one, it's yours, and I hardly know it" That's why her children were worried. 

A smile graced his face but his eyes were empty "I am alone and I will find peace only if I deserve your forgiveness" His wife knew what was happening to Napoleon, what had been happening to him for a long time "And if that is not your wish, I will kneel before you, I will lower my head and try again" They had killed him, the war had destroyed him and dehumanised him. What was in that church was not him, but an empty shell in search of a master to take over his heart.